Hmm I had a heart attack.

That used to mean something and sometimes today it still does but about 24 hrs after my last post I was walking on a treadmill along with my brother who was on one next to me. I started to feel some chest pain but dismissed it. After 20 minutes it went away and we started lifting weights. When Paul was not finished I decided to go back to the treadmill and get a few more minutes in. The pain came back immediately x10 and this time it did not go away. I didn't get scared, I got frustrated like when you go outside and see you have a flat tire. "Oh great, this is really inconvenient!" was my true reaction. We went home, I sat for an hour before my wife convinced me that calling 911 was a good idea, which she did. Blood was drawn, x-rays were taken, a million questions were asked, tests were done and a finally a heart attack was confirmed. A stent was placed and I went home in less that 48 hrs. I never got sick or sweaty, never lost consciousness, never went to intensive care, never had a tearful goodbye with my wife we never thought about or worried about dying. It was like I had injured myself in ball game. I expected to live and could not have cared less if I died. Is this grace? I'd say so. I did not want to go through this but God allowed it and we were ready, by His doing, to ride this one through live or die. As I sit here back home in my apartment in downtown Chicago, it seems like it never happened. It was spiritually beneficial and a good test but it's over and we will move on and that IS grace, when you need it as long as you need it. What a gracious loving God we serve!

Dirty Mirrors

I wonder why people assume I don't swear, gamble, drink, smoke, cheat or party just because I'm a Pastor...I don't do those things (and many others) because I don't think they are consistent with a mindset dedicated to pursuing holiness rather than worldliness as I am commanded to do by my Lord. It is difficult enough to remain unentangled by the world in it's countless subtle or insidious areas. I can never completely forsake worldliness while dabbling in it, so, I think it's prudent to abandoned those activities that are tangible, controllable and if a choice had to be made, would fall on the ungodly rather than Godly side!

It is impossible to see a clear, accurate image in a dirty mirror. So we take it upon ourselves to clean it only to find that some areas are stubborn and some are easily removed. This is how I see my ongoing desire to seperate from the world. I'll remove those things that are easy to remove and improve my clarity to the world as a Christian. But those stubborn areas that remain I will take before the Lord.

India

My wife and I were blessed to be able to go to Faith Baptist Bible College in India to speak at the Missions Conference and graduation. In just 14 years the Lord has built up an incredible school that is training young men and women for the ministry. Despite incredible hurdles, the vigilant, faithful work of Dr. De and staff has resulted in 150 graduates. Many will go into pastoral ministry as national ambassadors for Christ. We praise God for this exemplary work!