Always or Never

I recently received an email from an Asian fellow who was encouraging me to contact him if I never received the item he sent me. He was trying very hard but his English needed quite a bit of work. At one point he wrote. "If you do not always receive it, please be contacting me." Learning a new language must be difficult (I have not at this point) because words can have similar concepts but diametrically opposed meanings. Such as in this case, he should have used never not always, these words have the same concept of universality but their meanings are a mirror image of one another. If we think about it we can see how this guy made the mistake.

I have also pondered the ideas of eternity and infinity. eternity has the idea of time and infinity of numerals or amounts yet I do not think that either are true. Infinity is not a number it is the opposite, it is the concept of being innumerable and inexhaustible. One writer explained it this way; If you had a library with an infinite number of red books and an infinite number of blue books and you went in and checked out half of the blue books, the total number of books in the library would not decrease. There is just no end to the number of books.

Applying this perspective to eternity, particularly in terms of heaven and hell, and it can suddenly overwhelm us. When I was young I would try to conceive of being with the Lord without end. I think finitely, there is always an end to whatever I do! So to try to grasp eternity was a challenge that would overwhelm me emotionally and I would have to stop thinking about it! John Newton wrote: When we've been there ten thousand years bright shining as the sun. We've no less days to sing God's praise then when we've first begun. Newton understood the idea of eternity. After 10,000 years we will still have all of eternity to be with our Lord!

When Voluntary becomes Mandatory

"Mental preparation" it's one of those terms that we all know the meaning of but find it difficult to define. After all, how do we prepare for something mentally or otherwise when we really can’t be sure how it will turn out? We assess “the plan” and consider its impact on us and we think through telling ourselves what we should prepare for. Perhaps we consider all likely emotional and physical requirements and we assess our ability to meet them and “shore up” in the areas we may be lacking. If it is something we are looking forward to the process is simple and we seem to have better access to those emotional and physical resources.
I had several months to mentally prepare for my quick eight-day journey to South Africa. I pride myself in being able to take whatever comes, but I still needed a mental picture of what was to transpire. I have traveled quite a bit and know I can take a week of any type of mission trip. Beyond ten days, I become acutely aware of the absence of my wife, and stateside life.
“The plan” was that Anthony, a guy from my church and I, would do some manual labor around a church camp that is being built on Paardeberg (Horse Mountain) about an hour from Cape Town. I was looking forward to it and was prepared for a week of building projects in the hills of South Africa and getting to know the missionaries there and experiencing their ministries. After a couple days it was going as expected even better. The accommodations were wonderful and the camp was beautiful. Anthony and I faced some frustration in completing one of the projects and the Lord gave us 48 hrs of practicing our patience, something we both are working on. Good progress was made on Thursday and Friday and we were looking for a day off on Saturday to go out in a boat and see some great white sharks. Then, quite unexpectedly we heard of a volcano that had blown in Iceland and all of European airspace was shut down.
This was not part of the plan.
We were to fly to Amsterdam in less than 36 hrs. Over the next 48 hrs our hope peaked and faded as we heard conflicting reports about opening the air for flights again. The end result was the first flight available from Johannesburg to Atlanta to Chicago was in eight days. Suddenly eight days was not a quick trip but seemed like an eternity. It is amazing how our attitude shifts when things are out of our control. As long as things went the way I planned I was fine. I was voluntarily here for a week to help some brothers in the Lord feeling very good and now I was “stranded” While in Cape Town I saw a post card with a picture of the prison cell that Nelson Mandela was imprisoned in for 19 years. It was unimaginable to me, yet certainly put things in perspective. “C’mon Bill, it’s just a week!” I thought. After processing my feelings I realized that it was not the extra time away against my will that bothered me, it was that it disrupted my plan and kept me from something I wanted. There many other issues to deal with. Anthony had an engineering job he needed to return to and MBA classes and exams he’d miss. I am an obsessive pre-planner and had much scheduled to accomplish that first week home for a busy summer of mission teams coming to Chicago to help our ministry. Most people might rejoice at being “required” to spend another week in such a magnificent place as Paardeberg and Cape Town and indeed Anthony and I tried to make the most of it while longing for our families those extra days.
Our Lord has an amazing way of revealing our weaknesses and dependence on Him. He pops the cork on one volcano on a little island few ever think about and it paralyzes millions of people, affects the global economy, costs companies billions of dollars worldwide and way down in S. Africa, 10,000 miles away two men trying to serve Him are wondering why? Why? What difference does it make? We cannot possibly fathom the outcomes God had in mind when He allowed the eruption to occur on April 15, 2010. Yet there was an outcome in my comparatively insignificant life, planned and prepared by my heavenly Father. When He chose to move the earth to allow this eruption to occur, he had me, and you, in mind! Perhaps you were not impacted at all, maybe you were one of the fortunate ones who watched it all from your living room and were free to move as you wished. Today I am home in Chicago and Cape Town is 8500 miles away and a grueling 36 hour journey, 22 hrs of which were in flight. Some key interactions took place during the second “unplanned” week and it remains to be seen if how God will use them. I may never know these things but I do know there is purpose in all that God does and allows. I do know this, I know I have learned that I must not hold anything, including my work, plans, wife and family more dearly to my heart than my Lord and His will for me. His working in the grand plan and in the minutia of my life is what must be closest to my heart.

Hmm I had a heart attack.

That used to mean something and sometimes today it still does but about 24 hrs after my last post I was walking on a treadmill along with my brother who was on one next to me. I started to feel some chest pain but dismissed it. After 20 minutes it went away and we started lifting weights. When Paul was not finished I decided to go back to the treadmill and get a few more minutes in. The pain came back immediately x10 and this time it did not go away. I didn't get scared, I got frustrated like when you go outside and see you have a flat tire. "Oh great, this is really inconvenient!" was my true reaction. We went home, I sat for an hour before my wife convinced me that calling 911 was a good idea, which she did. Blood was drawn, x-rays were taken, a million questions were asked, tests were done and a finally a heart attack was confirmed. A stent was placed and I went home in less that 48 hrs. I never got sick or sweaty, never lost consciousness, never went to intensive care, never had a tearful goodbye with my wife we never thought about or worried about dying. It was like I had injured myself in ball game. I expected to live and could not have cared less if I died. Is this grace? I'd say so. I did not want to go through this but God allowed it and we were ready, by His doing, to ride this one through live or die. As I sit here back home in my apartment in downtown Chicago, it seems like it never happened. It was spiritually beneficial and a good test but it's over and we will move on and that IS grace, when you need it as long as you need it. What a gracious loving God we serve!

Dirty Mirrors

I wonder why people assume I don't swear, gamble, drink, smoke, cheat or party just because I'm a Pastor...I don't do those things (and many others) because I don't think they are consistent with a mindset dedicated to pursuing holiness rather than worldliness as I am commanded to do by my Lord. It is difficult enough to remain unentangled by the world in it's countless subtle or insidious areas. I can never completely forsake worldliness while dabbling in it, so, I think it's prudent to abandoned those activities that are tangible, controllable and if a choice had to be made, would fall on the ungodly rather than Godly side!

It is impossible to see a clear, accurate image in a dirty mirror. So we take it upon ourselves to clean it only to find that some areas are stubborn and some are easily removed. This is how I see my ongoing desire to seperate from the world. I'll remove those things that are easy to remove and improve my clarity to the world as a Christian. But those stubborn areas that remain I will take before the Lord.

India

My wife and I were blessed to be able to go to Faith Baptist Bible College in India to speak at the Missions Conference and graduation. In just 14 years the Lord has built up an incredible school that is training young men and women for the ministry. Despite incredible hurdles, the vigilant, faithful work of Dr. De and staff has resulted in 150 graduates. Many will go into pastoral ministry as national ambassadors for Christ. We praise God for this exemplary work!

Palm Sunday Baptism

It was a blessing for our new little church to be able to baptize three new believers this past Sunday. Several months ago I preached on the ordinances of the church and these three came to me in the following weeks expressing a desire to follow our Lord's command to be baptized. Hector, Nancy (pictured) and Brett all gave tremendous testimonies of their faith and were baptized before our smiling and encouraging group of 52 on Sunday! That morning, I preached Romans 6:1-14 which fit in well with the baptism as well as my ongoing series in pursuing holiness. The day was highlighted when Hector, returning from drying off after his baptism, announced that he and Nancy were getting married which resulted in a spontaneous round of applause, cheering and congratulations.

Breaking Bread

This past Sunday we celebrated the Lord's Supper and enjoyed a meal together after the service. Our college students will be leaving for Spring Break next weekend and will be out of our services for a couple Sundays so we said good bye over a great lasagna meal! We are planning our first Baptism service on Palm Sunday and we are looking forward to four of our folks committing their lives to the Lord. We continue to have new visitors each week and the Lord is blessing us with spiritual growth!